Monthly TOEFL Essay #2: Possible Changes by Scientific Advance in the 21st Century

Topic: The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? Use examples and details in your answer. 

     Famous K-pop group 2NE1’s name means twenty-first century’s new evolution. As the group’s name suggests, the twenty-first century is called the age of social upheaval. As the slope of the advance of science and technology becomes steeper, social change is accelerated. Frontier technologies, such as biotechnology, nanotechnology change people’s daily life. By this reason of social change in the twenty-first century, I assume that the new century should be a centralized society in various areas and people will lose humanity than before.

     First, the new century will be an integrated society. The representative area is information. As the communications technology is more developed, the easier to centralize information to one spot. For instance, Apple collects location information from their iPhone users and Google collects search records of their users even though users did not log in. These changes are all based on the advance of information technology. CCTVs around us, possibility to take satellite pictures in any time anywhere, location tracing with cell phones, and the GPS system is part of the integrated information system. This means that more fixed integrated system could be built in the future due to better technology. Centralization is also found at infrastructures in a country. The connections between power stations, roads, airplane or ship’s course are centralized by one system. Integrated system enables easier control objects. Also, information in the world could be easier to access. Integrated system can exist in a smaller way, such as food control system in houses. These systems will make people’s daily life more comfortable. In contrast it can intensify the danger of all objects. For example, if the opponent takes control of the spot where is a place that manages power plants during a war, electricity in the whole nation could be gone in one moment. It also enables the owner of information, or authorities, to look through individuals’ information.

     Second, the loss of social link between people due to individualism is worried. This phenomenon can be seen nowadays. When people go into an elevator, people just watch at their smart phones rather than talk to each other. Mobilization and reduction in size of electric devices provided an environment that is comfortable for individuals. People watch soccer not with their family on TV but in their rooms alone on smart phones. Also, when dealing with business, individual work with tablet PC allowed businessmen to work alone than work alone. The revolution on mobile devices reduces conversation with people and the chance to make offline social relationship. People do not feel the necessity to be in a community or with other people. Compared to the society before industrialization, social link between people is weaker, and will be weaker in the future due to the reasons above. In other words, people would not care about others. As individual space and time increases, individualism can easily rise in the society. Thus, social link among people and the band of community will become weaker.

     In conclusion, integrated system in many fields will appear and social interactions will be weakened due to the technological progress. Many other changes will be occurred in the new century, but as scientific advance is the driving force of the society these changes will be significant in the future society.

To be a "speciesist"?

     Imagine that the meat you eat this afternoon is made from the animals killed like the picture above. The video Earthlings was like the picture above. For today's dinner, I went to a restaurant to eat Galbi, but as soon as I saw the meat, the slaughterhouse in the video came out to my mind. Human beings were exploiting the animals cruely as tools of earning money, and the methods to treat the animals were just considered by profit calculation. Even though the video was very shocking, the movie was somewhat one-sided, and there were some interesting things to think about.

Welcome to the SLAUGHTERHOUSE

People did not had any opportunities to know what is
going inside the slaughterhouse. However, the video
suggest that stupidity comes from lack of willingness
for knowledge.

   

      The first reason why I think this movie is one-sided is the shock people get from this video. Just like the picture on the left, cows are hung up and bleeding, but they are still conscious. Their horns are cut without anesthesia. Many animals including pigs suffered from electric shocks. The animals are also raised in cramped, closed cages. Thus, they suffer lots of stress so they even kill same species. In the video, Nobel Prize winner Isaac Singer said in his novel that "As often has Herman had witnessed the slaughter of animals and fish, he always had the same thought: in their behavior toward creatures, all men were Nazis, like the picture below. 

"In their behavior toward creatures, all men were Nazis."

    The behavior treating animals as entertainment tools were also astounding. Rodeo was an aggregate of animal abuse. A belt called a flank strap is secured around the animal's body over the genital area. The strap is tightened when the bull should go into the stadium so that the animal goes completely insane due to the pain.

It is quite obvious that people will get shocked if they see this movie. However, the movie should reveal more fundamental reasons of this phenomenon and rely on rational decision rather than just appealing emotionally. The movie shows the environment of animals for a long time but does not mention about the problem of human consumption.

     The second focus is rightness of the reason for animal killing. The movie just suggests that animal killing is a bad thing. However, Supply for animals follow due to the demand existing somewhere. The demand is definitely people's desire. As the demand for meat increases, the number of animals that should be raised increases. However, the space and the capital of owner to raise them are limited. Because many ranches are low return businesses with tight margins, the veterinary services delivered must be as cost effective as possible for those producers whose cattle provide a major portion of their family income. Therefore, animals are hard to be treated with mercy. It is hard to say eating meat is bad because animals are dead. Killing with mercy does not make sense because killing is a merciless act itself. If we change ourselves to vegetarian to prevent animal killing and environment pollution due to it, demand for plants will increase, and whether the number of plants rise or decrease, there is change in the environment. The definition of life becomes controversial because animals and plants are both "living". Thus, the demand for animals is not an improper thing and it does not have any alternatives. It is a inevitable thing due to the increase of human population and total wealth of the world. Thus, killing animals is a inevitable phenomenon, which should not be criticized.

     The point that should be criticized is neither the increasing demand nor the attitude towards the animals. It is consumerism. The third part about clothes ends with a conversation in the fur-coat shop. "How much is it?" "$49,500." Just one cloth costs as much as double of GNI of Korea. In other words, the profit of producing animal-based products are great. The problem is the demand of leather clothes are increasing. Leather clothes are considered as luxuries, and by consuming these items individuals satisfy. In the modern capitalism society, consuming is encouraged as the motor of economy. It is important to judge whether this consumerism is right. Are those products really essential to life? Same as the entertainment industry. Are animals really needed for entertainment? Are there no alternatives? How about not consuming entertainment services or fur-made products? Does not using them damage your daily life in a severe way? The movie should have pointed out for this rather than just asserting equality.

The demand for animals for food is a inevitable thing.
However, does the satisfaction of the women above
worth as much as the lives of animals?

     The last focus is speciesism. I wonder if this is a proper word to use. Not only humans but every "earthlings" eat other "earthlings" who is at the lower level in the energy pyramid. Desire for eating them is a natural thing. It is also difficult to mention that the slaughter should be more merciful. Euthanasia, which is a merciful method, is injecting chemicals in food that should be put on our dinner table. As mentioned before, killing itself is a unethical act. Therefore, raising animals and hunting wild animals has no difference. Speciesism is defined as a prejudice or attitude of bias in favor of the interests of members of one's own species and against those of members of other species. By the definition, every species except the lowest level in the energy pyramid is a speciesist. Also, the movie mentions animal experiments does not lead to advance of medical researches. To follow this idea, only human experiments can lead to medical advance, which is more controversial ethically. Because of the ethical issue, researches has been done with animals who have similar body order such as mice and these researched are turned out to be successful. Antibiotics, insulin, vaccines for polio and cervical cancer, organ transplantation, HIV treatments, heart-bypass surgery were all developed and tested using animals.

Speciesism??

     The shocking image is now accepted as one of the reality reports. Earthlings is a good movie that informed me about the hidden actuality, but it was somewhat one-sided. According to the three previous points, this movie should have been better if it contained the contrasting ideas.

External links: http://www.animalfreedom.org/english/information/meat.html
http://www.vetmed.wsu.edu/courses-jmgay/poebeefindustry.htm
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science-news/3353960/Should-we-experiment-on-animals-Yes.html

Word count: 989

Touching The Real NY Culture(Anecdotal Essay 1)

     To me, traveling is to meet other cultures and interact with different features rather than sitting on the bus and just watching the scenery through the window. In that meaning, the accidents that occurred in the Time Square was real "traveling."

     It was the time when I went on the vision trip to the United States in May. After visiting few famous universities, my friends and I went on a New York tour. We watched a musical on Broadway, and walked through the streets. Free time was given for about thirty minutes in Time Square, so my friend Hyung and I moved together. We looked at the big screen, which displayed LG and Hyundai without Samsung. We also went to a few stores and bought some American products, such as Yankees hats for the game in Baltimore. We also saw one crazy man only wearing his underwear playing a guitar. Until then, Hyung and I thought that this street tour would end happily.

     However, there was one silly episode and one dangerous situation on the way back. As we had no time, we decided to go back to the big Hershey's building, which was our destination. At that time, a Chinese performance was taking place. the word "Farun Dafu" was on the big plan cards. As I was curious about it, I asked a volunteer what it was about. Surprisingly, she could not speak English.

     Suddenly, a pretty young Chinese lady came to me and asked, "Ni shi Zhongguoren ma?", which means "Are you Chinese?" in Chinese. I was frightened and just said "No..." But I recovered my patience and said "Wo shi Hanguoren.", which means "I am Korean." in Chinese. The silence existed longer than the previous one. The Chinese lady was surprised more than I was, but she also found her patience and said "Oh, you are from South Korea!" She explained about the protest kindly to me. The Chinese government depressed a particular religion and in some cases used inhumane methods, so the protesters were informing this to the world and asked the Western countries for help. This was the funniest episode in that trip.

     As I almost arrived the Hershey's, there were two lack males standing and yelling. Beside them, there was a case with money. I tried to avoid them, but the tall males with clumsy clothes asked for a hand with their big hands like Michael Jordan and said "Ahn-nyung ha sae yo! yo!" They were both above 190 centimeters. One guy took charge of me and one guy was in charge of Hyung. The guy said "Yo, this is for charity! Please give one dollar!" I responded "As I am a student, I have no money." and gave them one dollar. The male with Hyung said to Hyung "If you ain't got one dollar, five dollar is OK! No? You ain't got Korean money? Chun-won up-seo-yo?" Hyung also gave them some money and escaped from them. I guess they live in the slums and were looking for some money for bars. At last, one guy said "Go-map sup ni da!" but the other guy claimed the guy who said Korean did not speak right. The guy who expressed thank in Korean said "What nigga? You know more than me about Korean?" We were nervous, so I said his Korean was right and rapidly escaped from there.

     The NY tour had some funny stuffs but also some scary situations. I felt the real NY culture, diversity and complexity. I hope can go through the untraveled road like this experience, not just traveling the recommended course.

Monthly TOEFL Essay #1 : "Jeong" is the power

Describe a custom from your country that you would like people from other countries to adopt. Explain your choice, using specific reasons and examples.

           In the modern industrialized society, personal space and virtual relationships via online is considered more important than the sense of belonging together and real relationships through offline meeting. While East Asian countries have developed community-based culture, individualism is spread on other countries, especially western countries. However, the driving force of any community is cooperation than personal activities. Thus, I’d like other countries to adopt the custom of Korea, “Jeong”, which is a feeling of attachment made by having intersections. I recommend this because it grows connectedness among members of a community and it makes people to get along with others.

           First, “Jeong” could help people to feel strong tie among them. As mentioned, “Jeong” is to have ties by sharing. In Korea, as friendly the people are, the more shared by them. People supply their privacies to really close friends or family and the opposite side also provide theirs. As components of a community have intersections, these intersections become strong glue and this glue is stronger when the intersection is bigger. For instance, boys may share stories such as their lovers if they are close, and by sharing those stories they become closer. This custom can be expanded to a bigger community such as country. In the 2002 World Cup, Koreans supported Korean soccer team passionately with one reason: they are Koreans. Not only sharing personal things, but also just having a simple similarity can from “Jeong.” If foreign countries adopt the custom of “Jeong”, it is certain that cooperation among people is easier. Especially for countries with individualism, “Jeong” can make a synergy effect by integrating individuals by a particular sharing, which can lead to a smooth procedure to the goal of a community.

           Moreover, “Jeong” makes people to be friendly with others. This is not limited to the community a person is belonged to. Even though the object has no special intersection with the person, the custom of “Jeong” allows sharing things with the object. For instance, when a Korean person goes to America, that person becomes very close to other Koreans just because that person is Korean. Although for people who have no similarities, people try to share things. For example, a newcomer gives out rice cakes to neighbors in Korea, which is a part of the “Jeong” culture. The newcomer has no relationship with the neighbors, but in this case the newcomer is trying to make an intersection. By this characteristic of “Jeong”, people can get along with not only the people in the same community but also people with no intersections. In the modern society, it is hard to have relationship with people, but the “Jeong” culture allows having relationships with others easily. As a result, the bond between members is stronger by “Jeong”. The bonds between members lead to an easier cooperation, which strengthens the unity and by this unity power of the community become stronger than before.

           In conclusion, I’d like to spread the custom of “Jeong” due to its advantage of communities’ unity and harmony with other people with no intersections. In fact, the main factor Korea has conserved its properties and developed rapidly is the power of unity based on “Jeong.” It is true that individual is important than community in other countries. If other countries mix “Jeong” culture with individualism, there will be a significant effect. 

Goal

I am not a perfect writer. I am rather a worse writer compared to my friends in this school. Last semester, I often made some grammar mistakes and some other mistakes. In my opinion, those grammar mistakes were critical damages to my essay scores, and my sentences were not clear enough to satisfy the reader. This semester, I will reduce grammar mistakes in my essay, and I will try to make my sentences vivid with the harmony of my effort and some fantastic aids by Mr. Menard.

ICE BREAKING!!!

Yes...We should break some ice at first.
As a typical introduction, my name is Jun Sun Choi, and I go to KMLA, which is one of the best schools in Korea. These are just normal facts that you could know even if you do not see this post.
I am a crazy football(not American!) fan. I loved Manchester United due to the existence of a Korean player, but as he went to another team and a Japanese came I consider to change my favorite team to Real Madrid. I also love various kind of music including ballad(which makes Mr. Menard to shoot his head himself) to heavy metal. I learned how to play guitar but I'm not good enough.
I'm interested in math and science(plus programming) than humanities, but I have a big interest in history and economics too.
The ideal future that I imagine is to do the happiest work and earn the most economical profit from it.